Emotional abuse can be either overt or covert or both. The latter is complex and hard to identify because the abuse is spread throughout your everyday interactions. The victim of abuse is left feeling very confused when the abuse is hidden/covert. They question their own feelings. This can erode the individual’s confidence levels and sense of self.
What are the identifying factors?
Abuse comes in many different forms. Even when there is no physical violence, abusive language can be very damaging to you. Emotional and psychological abuse can include mostly non-physical behaviours that the abuser uses to control, isolate, or frighten you. Often, the abuser uses it to break down your self-esteem and self-worth in order to create a psychological dependency on him/her.
One of the identifying factors is that emotional and psychological abuse of any kind is usually cyclic. Individuals find themselves caught up in a trauma bond. A pervasive pattern of ‘ups and downs.’ The ups compensate for the downs. That’s what keeps the victim caught up in this pervasive dysfunctional pattern of abuse. There is hope that the situation will improve, and that the relationship will get better.
The other complicated factor of emotional and psychological abuseis that it usually happens when you expect to be able to trust the abuser. A family member, a spouse or even a parent. The concept of this is shocking but it is a common occurrence and I have seen it happen in my 22 years of practice, sadly.
What is the Solution?
It’s complicated. It needs psychotherapeutic treatment first and foremost. That includes delving into the individual’s history of abuse. Their relationship to the abuser and any history of abuse prior to their current situation. My emotional abuse counselling in Hertfordshire can help you identify where and what type of boundaries need erecting and how to erect sustainable healthy boundaries.
Boundary Setting
Boundary setting is one of my specialities. In order to ward off emotional and psychological abuse. An individual needs to set boundaries. That means that the individual is better able to identify their feelings and whether or not, a person is violating their feelings. We all deserve to have our feelings and opinions respected.
Boundaries can be broken down into 2 types: –
Emotional boundaries:
The separation of your emotions from others’. Healthy emotional boundaries can help you avoid:
- Blaming or accepting blame
- Feeling guilty for others’ problems
- Taking others’ comments personally
Personal boundaries:
The lines you draw for yourself in terms of your comfort level around others. These can include:
- Physical contact
- Verbal interactions
- Personal space
My emotional abuse counselling in Hertfordshire can help you to identify your feelings where you can achieve self-awareness that can help you communicate and enforce your boundaries. I can help you to achieve clear boundary setting by validating your feelings and your responsibilities to yourself and others.
Emotional and psychological abuse can have serious short- and long-term effects on a person’s emotional and physical health that can include depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and other mental health issues. Physical symptoms may include migraines, stomach and digestive problems, pervasive aches and pains and insomnia.
If you feel that you could benefit from emotional abuse counselling in Hertfordshire please contact me now at pennyglazebrookcounselling.co.uk
