What is co-dependence? It’s best described as an unhealthy dependence on relationships. In order to avoid feelings of abandonment the co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship. But in doing so, their strong need for approval may compound feelings of underlying low self-worth.
Co-dependence could be viewed as being on a scale of low, moderate or severe depending on the individual and the circumstances. Narcissistic abuse is a term widely used on social media and is generally used as a blanket term for being bullied into submission. People with narcissistic traits are well versed in the field of manipulation and have a strong tendency to attach themselves to co-dependent people that’s motivated by the need to control the other. If the relationship is left unchecked over a long period of time a trauma cycle can take root. These types of relationships are unhealthy and sadly, quite common. It’s not until a crisis point arises that most people seek professional help. By which time their boundaries have been repeatedly violated and their confidence has been eroded.
Co-dependent people lack boundaries. They feel guilty when they try and assert themselves. Boundaries are learned from a very early age by being validated by one’s parents or guardians. It would be an ideal world if parents were given a golden handbook on how to raise a well-rounded, healthy child. However, this is not always the case. Chances are, they too, were not validated in childhood and so the transgenerational pattern is repeated. Another common reason for being co-dependant is bullying at school. An individual’s peer group is essential to developing a strong sense of self and a confident personality.
My Co-dependence Counselling in Hertfordshire can help you to explore the roots of your co-dependency issues. I can help you reframe distorted core beliefs about yourself and erect healthy boundaries that will protect you from remaining in unhealthy relationships and leading a happier, more fulfilling life.
Contact me now if you are experiencing:
- Trapped in an unfulfilling job role and/or being bullied at work
- Remaining in an unhappy or controlling relationship
- Not sure how to assert yourself clearly and with confidence
- Feel anxious at the thought of being abandoned or being alone
- Grew up with an abusive parent(s) or emotionally avoidant household
- Low self-worth
- Generalised anxiety and low mood
The above examples are not exhaustive. Everyone has their own personal stories relating to co-dependency. My Co-dependence Counselling in Hertfordshire can help educate you on the subject with the objective of helping you to lead a more fulfilling life with vigour and confidence to finally be you!
